Rebecca Whiting’s Story
Our God is the God of salvation; And to God the Lord
belong escapes from death. Psalm 68;20
When I was still very young my mum died.
My dad had a job that involved a lot of travelling and he was also becoming quite
ill. Throughout my childhood we were constantly moving around and I lived with
over a dozen different foster families When I was 12 I moved with my dad to Australia.
At
the age of 13 I left school and began to drink. I was emotionally hooked straight
away; I loved the way it made me feel. I didn’t have to face reality, I could
just have fun. Over time I stopped going to church and changed friends Over the
next few years my behaviour became more and more out of control. I had no stable
home and my relationship with my father was virtually non existent. We eventually
returned to the United Kingdom which was when things got really bad. Soon after
arriving I discovered that a close friend had died of an overdose. I didn’t know
how to handle the pain and so I began to self harm. My drinking became more and
more reckless as unresolved issues and pain from my past surfaced, I felt completely
out of control. I developed anorexia and bulimia and took both to serious extremes
in an attempt to regain control. I began to shut down and isolate myself from
everyone. I disconnected from my friends and fell into depression. I was searching
for some spiritual reality. I had grown up in church and knew about God. But I
believed that God was far away and out of reach. But as I had a desire for spiritual
things I locked myself away and began to get involved in the “dark side” of the
spirit world. I opened a door to Satan and began to have a lot of very frightening
spiritual experiences. From this moment on things took a bad turn and I rapidly
deteriorated. I would drink alcohol and smoke dope from when I woke up until I
fell asleep or passed out at night. Part of me no longer cared whether I lived
or died. I would pass out in parks or by the side of the road I and would wake
up with cuts and bruises but no memory of how they got there. I would steal the
car in the middle of the night and drive for hours and often have no memory of
where I went or what I did. My anorexia at it’s worst caused me to be terrified
at the thought of eating something as simple as an apple, and when I did eat I
would make myself vomit. I got too weak to get out of bed and was malnourished
from all the vomiting. Every time I was on my own I would self harm by cutting
and burning my arms. Others wanted to have me sectioned, I was in constant torment,
I would pace my bedroom all night long trembling all over and having severe panic
attacks. I would hallucinate badly and thought I was losing my mind. I was living
in a constant state of terror. I was constantly terrified of dying and yet at
one point I tried to drink myself to death. I woke up about 15 hours later on
the floor unable to stand up convinced I was about to die. For the first time
in a long time I cried out to Jesus and asked him to save me from death. He heard
my cry and amazingly within an hour I was standing up and walking around feeling
well. At that point I knew I had to change. I went to psychiatrists, doctors and
counselors and A.A meetings and I eventually made progress. I returned to a healthy
weight, stopped drinking and managed to stop self harming. On the outside I looked
like I was improving but every day was a fight just to make it through without
relapsing, and I was still in constant torment. After about a year I did relapse
and began to cut my arms quite badly. In total despair once again I cried out
to God and told him I needed a miracle. All I wanted was freedom but I couldn’t
do it alone, once again He met with me. He showed me a vision of Jesus walking
towards me and kneeling beside me and putting His hand over my bloodstained wrist
and smiling at me. I then saw myself at Christian Family Centre. I remembered
hearing about CFC through Davey and Linda Hoy sometime before that. I’d never
thought of it again but that day I was convinced that was where I was meant to
be. After meeting with Paul and Kerry Paynter for an assessment I arrived in February
2007. I had no Idea what to expect. The nine months there were amongst the hardest
yet the most wonderful of my life. I faced intense battles both emotionally and
spiritually. For the first time I was dealing with the heart issues I’d been running
from all my life. I was learning to trust God and surrender my life to Him, which
was a huge challenge for me as I’d believed a lot of lies about who God really
was. I came to see that He wasn’t far away and out of reach but that He was a
deeply personal, loving Father. Through opening doors to the devil and the spiritual
experiences I’d had throughout my childhood I was in a lot of bondage. I believed
that the devil was more powerful than God and that I could never be free from
his grip. Therefore I struggled long and hard to really surrender to God. But
light is stronger than darkness and truth carries the power to break any lie.
Once I got a revelation of the truth of God’s Word, who God is and who I am in
Him I had a major breakthrough. I renounced all the works of darkness I’d been
involved in and fully surrendered my life to God. Years of torment and fear were
replaced with the peace that passes understanding. The love of God began to heal
my heart in radical and amazing ways combined with the love, support, and counsel
of all who work at Christian Family Centre. I left a different person to the one
who arrived in Feb 2007.I now have soundness of mind. Every day when I wake up
I have such deep peace and joy; I walk in light and freedom. I experience happiness
that goes beyond anything I’ve ever experienced in the world. God has transformed,
turned around and restored every part of my life. I am held securely in the love
of my heavenly Father. My relationship with my earthly father has been restored
and it is now a joy to spend time with him. I am walking into a future that goes
beyond anything I could have ever dreamed of. God has a good plan and purpose
for every one of His children. Rebecca
